Facing death, time to drop everything.

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
When we or someone we love is told they have limited time to live we are often filled with all kinds of feelings and questions. There is anger, denial, maybe hope for a miracle cure. If there is a faith, a calling out to a higher being for help, support, understanding, healing or a smooth transition. Maybe there is acceptance or even relief.Perhaps more often, all of it at once in a kaleidoscope of emotions, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. None of which feel like the right response, usually. I dropped everything and faced death When or if we are told a timeline, we ought to take it seriously.So often our response is, “yes, but ….” followed by all the reasons the time line may not be correct. A miracle cure, a positive mental attitude, a new drug trial, the love of those around them. But that timeline, usually offered by an experienced medical professional or maybe someone who has lived this path...
Read More

Don’t pick a fight with a menopausal therapist

by Lisa Harris3 Comments
... you won't win. Anyone who knows me, knows I have been living with menopause for over 15 years. I know, I don't look old enough right? That's because I entered menopause in my mid 30's, medically there was no other option.And yeah, it more than sucks. So, whilst those around my own age are actively now talking about their peri-menopause, collagen, magnesium, exercise, hormonal shifts, dryness and general feeling of wtaf is happening to my body - I am nodding thinking, "Yah. I know" while my knees, hip and back hurts, I am STILL trying to shift some weight and I maintain the inability to so much as look at a polo neck without setting off a flush.Did I mention the bladder issues that creep up? Oh, you haven't got that far yet? Well, you will ...But 15 years ago, nobody was talking about this, social media wasn't full of it and celebs weren't breaking their necks to tell you...
Read More

I kept going. Ravenwolf

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
I’m not going to tell you that my life has been easy…It’s been hard as hell.There have been so many times that I survived one thing just to get hit with five more.But I never really thought about how hard it was or if I’d make it…It wasn’t ever a choice.I found a way.I made a way.I figured it out.I kept going.It’s hurt, physically, mentally and emotionally, but I always got through it.When the waves of life come at you, you make a choice to sink or swim…So I fought, scrapped and dug my way out of the darkness more than once.I was scared, tired and alone most of the time..But I kept going.I didn’t know where I was going or how I’d get there, but I knew I wasn’t happy where I was..So I pushed ahead.Sure, there were both dark days and happy times..And I made the best of both.I’ll never tell you that I have the answers because...
Read More

Desiderata

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,and remember what peacethere may be in silence.As far as possible without surrenderbe on good terms with all persons.Speak your truth quietlyand clearly;and listen to others,even the dull and the ignorant;they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons,they are vexations to the spirit.If you compare yourselfwith others,you may become vain and bitter;for always there will be greaterand lesser persons than yourself.Enjoy your achievements as wellas your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble;it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.Exercise caution in your business affairs;for the world is full of trickeryBut let this not blind you to whatvirtue there is;many persons strive for high ideals;and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself.Especially, do not feign affection.Neither be cynical about love;for in the face of all aridityand disenchantmentit is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years,gracefully surrendering the things of youth.Nurture strength of spirit to shield...
Read More

Midlife, it’s time.

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:I’m not screwing around. It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armour could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to...
Read More

Nothing blossoms all the time

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Nothing in nature blossoms all year - so why do you think you ought to? I read something recently that pointed the above fact out to me. I sat with this a while and realised, whilst there are 'evergreen' plants nothing to my knowledge at least, flowers all the time, continually. In that regard I suppose we could say, it is not natural to be blooming all the time. As in, we do not see it in nature. My word though, do we seem to hold ourselves to that standard. We have to be on point, get everything done, be successful, meet deadlines, exercise, hydrate, sleep, have a social life, connect with others, do our housework and iron our clothes - ok maybe not iron. But you see my point here. Bloom all the time?! I simply can't, nor do I have the energy or desire to try. Human first. I say this a lot. Always human first.We succeed at times, we make epic mistakes...
Read More

Human First

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
*Deep breath* My hard learning this week ... I am part of a wonderful trio of super-supervisors. We are women who meet monthly for a few hours of peer supervision. Between us we have decades of experience both as #therapists and #supervisors. We are knowledgeable, self aware, hard working, compassionate and funny. We hold each other accountable, we cheer each other on, we lean into the difficult conversations and we sit together to find ways forward in the 'what do I do' moments. We are grateful for each other and appreciate the input we offer as the years of experience offer fruitful guidance and knowledge. Want to know what else we are??#HumanFirst! Human-ness I often say, before we are anything we are human first. By that I mean we are impacted just like the rest of the humans on earth, by our experiences, we have emotions, we have struggles and joys. Just because we are a therapist or supervisor, it doesn't mean we are not human. In fact,...
Read More

Lisa – the human

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
The truth is I am a real, whole and yet unfinished person who is always learning more about myself and the world.   I laugh, I cry, I swear sometimes.  I enjoy being outside, preferably in nice weather, my body does not enjoy winter much.  I am a fan of theatre and live shows - I will cry and laugh in all the right places, mostly.  I used to read a lot. Now I am experimenting to be more creative having always thought I wasn't good at it. I draw, doodle, colour in, it helps calm or focus my mind.  I always take too many photos.  I am rubbish at technology compared to most, I understand people, not things. The truth is I have no real desire to be better at technology or to use it more than I need to.  I enjoy cooking  I am rubbish at late nights and I get peopled out after a while. I love sunrises and sunsets, I will never tire of seeing...
Read More

You are not your age or the size of your clothes

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
"You are not your age, nor the size of clothes you wear,You are not a weight, or the colour of your hair.You are not your name, or the dimples in your cheeks.You are all the books you read, and all the words you speak.You are your croaky morning voice, and the smiles you try to hide.You’re the sweetness in your laughter, and every tear you’ve cried.You’re the songs you sing so loudly when you know you’re all alone.You’re the places that you’ve been to, and the one that you call home.You’re the things that you believe in, and the people whom you love.You’re the photos in your bedroom, and the future you dream of.You’re made of so much beauty, but it seems that you forgotWhen you decided that you were defined by all the things you’re not." Erin Hanson - Not Photo: me out for a walk in the Yorkshire dales...
Read More