human first Archives - Lisa Harris

Why Is Leaving So Difficult? Understanding the Complexity of Domestic Abuse

October 15, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Why Is Leaving So Difficult? Understanding the Complexity of Domestic Abuse Exploring attachment, fear, hope and the practical realities that can make leaving an abusive relationship far more complicated than it might appear from the outside. One of the questions people often ask when they learn that someone is experiencing domestic abuse is: “Why don't they just leave?” It is a question that may come from genuine concern. Friends and family may feel frightened, frustrated or helpless when they see someone they care about being hurt. They may struggle to understand why the person remains in a relationship that appears to be causing them so much distress. But the question itself can overlook something important. Leaving an abusive relationship is not simply a decision to end a relationship. Depending on the circumstances, it can involve emotional loss, practical difficulties, financial insecurity, concerns about safety and the challenge of rebuilding a life that may have become increasingly restricted. It may also mean letting go of a future...

Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: When You Stop Trusting Yourself

October 14, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Gaslighting and Self-Doubt: When You Stop Trusting Yourself Understanding how repeated denial, blame and manipulation can affect our confidence, our memories and our ability to trust our own perceptions. Have you ever found yourself questioning a conversation after it has happened? Replaying what was said, wondering whether you misunderstood, or feeling certain that something was wrong but struggling to explain why? Most of us experience uncertainty from time to time. We forget details, misinterpret situations or disagree with someone about what happened. These are ordinary parts of being human. But what happens when questioning yourself becomes a regular feature of a relationship? When your recollection is repeatedly denied, your feelings are dismissed, or you find yourself apologising for things you do not understand? Over time, repeated experiences like these can undermine confidence and leave someone increasingly unsure of their own judgement. In the context of domestic abuse, one term often used to describe a particularly harmful pattern of psychological manipulation is gaslighting. Understanding what gaslighting means, how...

Domestic Abuse: When Love, Trust and Safety Become Complicated

October 12, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Domestic Abuse: When Love, Trust and Safety Become Complicated Understanding the less visible forms of abuse, the impact on our sense of self, and why recognising what is happening can be so difficult. Domestic abuse is often imagined as physical violence: visible injuries, frightening confrontations or incidents that leave no doubt that something is wrong. But domestic abuse does not always look like this. Sometimes it is much quieter. It may develop gradually within a relationship that began with affection, connection and the promise of a shared future. It may involve criticism, manipulation, intimidation, controlling behaviour or a persistent sense of walking on eggshells. There may be no visible injuries. There may be moments of genuine affection, apologies and promises that things will change. From the outside, the relationship may appear perfectly ordinary. And yet, behind closed doors, a person's confidence, independence and sense of safety may be gradually eroding. Domestic abuse is not simply about arguments, relationship difficulties or two people who struggle to communicate. It...

When the Brain Changes: Understanding the Role of Psychotherapy After Brain Injury

October 8, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

When the Brain Changes: Understanding the Role of Psychotherapy after Brain Injury Brain injury can change far more than memory, concentration or physical functioning. For the person experiencing it, a brain injury can affect their relationships, emotional regulation, behaviour, confidence, identity, independence and sense of who they are.And sometimes the psychological impact is the part that is least visible to other people. I have worked with people affected by acquired brain injury (ABI), including traumatic brain injury (TBI), for many years — as a therapist, clinical lead and supervisor. One of the things that has stayed with me throughout that work is how important it is to understand the whole person, rather than seeing the brain injury as a collection of cognitive or physical symptoms. A person may look physically well while experiencing profound changes internally. They may be struggling to manage emotions, process information, control impulses, understand changes in their behaviour, maintain relationships or come to terms with a life that feels...

Crisis & Support Resources for practitioners

October 7, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Crisis & Support Resources for practitioners "Reaching out for support is not a sign of burnout; it is a sign of professional maturity. Using these resources ensures you stay healthy enough to continue the incredible work you do for our clients. There is no 'heroism' in struggling alone." Before You Need It: Prepare Your Support Plan One of the most helpful things we can do for ourselves as practitioners is to identify our support options before we need them. When we are distressed, overwhelmed, exhausted or dealing with the aftermath of a particularly difficult piece of clinical work, it can be surprisingly difficult to remember who we can contact, where to find the relevant information, or what options are available to us. Having this information prepared in advance means that we don't have to make those decisions in the middle of a difficult moment. Consider creating your own Crisis & Support Resource List and keeping it somewhere that is easy to access — for example, saved...

Trauma-Informed Clinical Competency Guide

October 6, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Here is a Trauma-Informed Clinical Competency Guide, designed to be a suggested roadmap for developing skills from being a guided learner, to an independent practitioner when working directly with trauma as a specialism. 1. Planning: The Strategy Long-Term Roadmap: Goals match the client’s specific trauma and cognitive level. Session Steps: Daily objectives are small, measurable, and lead toward the big goal. The Pivot: Knowing when to change or add something the plan if a client is struggling. Right Tools: Choosing materials (activities/worksheets) that fit the client's age and interest. Clinical Rationale: Understanding the "why" (theory) behind your choices. Maximising Action: Structuring sessions so the client is active, not just listening. Celebrating Wins: Having a clear way to show the client their progress. The Support System: Including family/partners in the healing plan where appropriate. 2. Interaction: The Relationship Sensitivity: Staying tuned in to the client’s mood and adjusting in the moment. Safe Connection: Using the therapist-client bond as a tool for healing. Therapeutic Tone: Being warm, sincere, and using humour where it helps. Professional Boundaries:...

Supervisor’s checklist for organisational wellness

October 6, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

Supervision checklist for organisational wellness This Supervisor’s Organisational Wellness Checklist is designed to help those working as a leader, audit the systemic supports that are available to your team. It moves beyond "individual self-care" and ensures the employer or agency is providing a trauma informed foundation. You may find this helpful to use this quarterly to assess and advocate for team-level health. 1. Physical & Psychological Safety Safe Environment: Is the workspace (lighting, layout, exits) physically secure and welcoming for all staff and clients? Zero Tolerance: Are anti-bullying, anti-harassment, and non retaliation policies clearly posted and enforced? Privacy Spaces: Are there quiet rooms or private spaces available for staff to de-escalate or "reset" after difficult sessions? 2. Workload & Operational Support Caseload Balance: Is there a mechanism to review and adjust workloads based on case complexity and staff experience levels? Flexibility: Does the agency offer flexible scheduling or remote options to support staff wellbeing and work-life boundaries? Task Clarity: Are job roles and expectations communicated in employee-friendly language to reduce...

Guidance for Counsellors

September 16, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa Harris1 Comment

Back in September 2020, I published some words of guidance on my Facebook page for counsellors on their journey of study and self discovery as students or practitioners. As it popped up in my memories, I realised it might be worth re-sharing. So here you go, take what is helpful to you and leave the rest, and add on any wisdom you would like to share! Self Care You're going to hear that a lot and probably keep re-learning the importance of it throughout your career. Take time for yourself. Seek support when you feel overwhelmed, nervous or lost. Learn to be with your mistakes, everyone makes them. Everyone. Remember you're human first before anything else. Cry when you need to, take time when you need to. Be kind to your fellow students or colleagues, offer help where it's needed yet don't take responsibility for someone else's learning. Learn to be with your vulnerability, it's part of your beauty. Understand where it comes from...

Facing death, time to drop everything.

February 15, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa HarrisNo Comments

When we or someone we love is told they have limited time to live we are often filled with all kinds of feelings and questions. There is anger, denial, maybe hope for a miracle cure. If there is a faith, a calling out to a higher being for help, support, understanding, healing or a smooth transition. Maybe there is acceptance or even relief.Perhaps more often, all of it at once in a kaleidoscope of emotions, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. None of which feel like the right response, usually. I dropped everything and faced death When or if we are told a timeline, we ought to take it seriously.So often our response is, “yes, but ….” followed by all the reasons the time line may not be correct. A miracle cure, a positive mental attitude, a new drug trial, the love of those around them. But that timeline, usually offered by an experienced medical professional or maybe someone who has lived this path...

Don’t pick a fight with a menopausal therapist

February 12, 2026October 15, 2026 by Lisa Harris3 Comments

... you won't win. Anyone who knows me, knows I have been living with menopause for over 15 years. I know, I don't look old enough right? That's because I entered menopause in my mid 30's, medically there was no other option.And yeah, it more than sucks. So, whilst those around my own age are actively now talking about their peri-menopause, collagen, magnesium, exercise, hormonal shifts, dryness and general feeling of wtaf is happening to my body - I am nodding thinking, "Yah. I know" while my knees, hip and back hurts, I am STILL trying to shift some weight and I maintain the inability to so much as look at a polo neck without setting off a flush.Did I mention the bladder issues that creep up? Oh, you haven't got that far yet? Well, you will ...But 15 years ago, nobody was talking about this, social media wasn't full of it and celebs weren't breaking their necks to tell you...