When love is a sham

by Lisa Harris1 Comment
Agatha Christie gives this line to Margot Bence, who was adopted at five and sent away at nine when her adoptive mother fell pregnant with her own child. The fury in it sounds like it should be about loss and a child who was loved and then abandoned. But when you read it again, the fury is pointed somewhere else. She's angry about the years she spent being certain she was wanted, and what that certainty cost her once it turned out to be wrong. And then at some point you realised your investment in the relationship was bigger than theirs. We all know some version of this. You trusted someone. A parent or friend, someone you'd have said was safe. And then at some point you realised your investment in the relationship was bigger than theirs. You were organising your emotional life around someone who was keeping you in a drawer. And the feeling that stays longest, much longer than the...
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How to find a supervisor

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Finding out if needs, experience, and goals align. As supervisors we all work a little differently, as supervisees, we are all different. This means finding the best fit or right combination might feel like a never ending task - but it doesn't need to. Thinking and reflecting on ourselves and putting this with what we might already know we are looking for, can be an excellent place to start. Communicating this to a potential supervisor can be a great time saver and allow everyone to make effective use of time. Think about your own professional background What is your current Role?Are you a trainee, newly qualified, an experienced practitioner, a supervisor, manager or consultant? What are your credentials, qualifications, Professional Body and supervision arrangements: Are you a member of the BACP, UKCP, NCPS etc. What is your level of training, what particular qualifications do you hold or are you working towards? What are your own achievements and background? What are your current supervision arrangements and how might...
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Facing death, time to drop everything.

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
When we or someone we love is told they have limited time to live we are often filled with all kinds of feelings and questions. There is anger, denial, maybe hope for a miracle cure. If there is a faith, a calling out to a higher being for help, support, understanding, healing or a smooth transition. Maybe there is acceptance or even relief.Perhaps more often, all of it at once in a kaleidoscope of emotions, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. None of which feel like the right response, usually. I dropped everything and faced death When or if we are told a timeline, we ought to take it seriously.So often our response is, “yes, but ….” followed by all the reasons the time line may not be correct. A miracle cure, a positive mental attitude, a new drug trial, the love of those around them. But that timeline, usually offered by an experienced medical professional or maybe someone who has lived this path...
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Don’t pick a fight with a menopausal therapist

by Lisa Harris3 Comments
... you won't win. Anyone who knows me, knows I have been living with menopause for over 15 years. I know, I don't look old enough right? That's because I entered menopause in my mid 30's, medically there was no other option.And yeah, it more than sucks. So, whilst those around my own age are actively now talking about their peri-menopause, collagen, magnesium, exercise, hormonal shifts, dryness and general feeling of wtaf is happening to my body - I am nodding thinking, "Yah. I know" while my knees, hip and back hurts, I am STILL trying to shift some weight and I maintain the inability to so much as look at a polo neck without setting off a flush.Did I mention the bladder issues that creep up? Oh, you haven't got that far yet? Well, you will ...But 15 years ago, nobody was talking about this, social media wasn't full of it and celebs weren't breaking their necks to tell you...
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Coping at Christmas

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Contact your GP, your local mental health crisis intervention team or rapid intervention team if you need immediate support.   Call 111 if you urgently need medical guidance or treatment.    Call 999 if you require emergency (life threatening) medical attention.  Attend A & E if you need urgent medical attention.   If you know somebody is at immediate risk or is harming themselves or somebody else, the safest response is to dial 999.  Staff are trained to deal with crisis situations and can advise you or call on professionals as required.  Samaritans https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan/ Call 116 123 free from any phone to talk about anything that is upsetting you. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.  SANE https://www.sane.org.uk/how-we-help/emotional-support/saneline-services  If you’re experiencing a mental health difficulty or supporting someone who is, you can call SANEline on 0300 304 7000 4pm–10pm every day.  SANEline is a national out-of-hours mental health helpline offering specialist emotional support, guidance and information to anyone affected by mental illness, including family, friends and carers.   The Mix https://www.themix.org.uk/get-support  For those under 25 you can...
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Grief stole my Christmas

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
When grief stole my Christmas,and the lights from the tree.It also took awaythe light that shone in me. It stole the season's greetingswritten on every card.It dried up all my words,making communicating hard. It stole every bauble I had hungand left my branches bare.The thing is though, if I'm honest,I didn't really care. Grief didn't just steal my ChristmasIt had also taken me.It left a shell of a person.I forget who I used to be. Until one day I was out walking,and there sitting in a tree,was the most beautiful robinstaring down at me. Those bare branches came to life.It shone the colour red.A reflection of its breast,sent memories to my head. With the flutter of its wings,my heart too began to flutter.and then it sang a tuneand with that I had to stutter. The words of Christmas carolshad found their voice again.The glitter that was stolennow fell down with the rain. I couldn't wait to get home.I knew grief would still be there,but it never did steal...
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The unknown soldier.

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
On November 7th, 1920, in strictest secrecy, four unidentified British bodies were exhumed from temporary battlefield cemeteries at Ypres, Arras, the Asine and the Somme. None of the soldiers who did the digging were told why. The bodies were taken by field ambulance to GHQ at St-Pol-Sur-Ter Noise. Once there, the bodies were draped with the union flag. Sentries were posted and Brigadier-General Wyatt and a Colonel Gell selected one body at random. The other three were reburied. A French Honour Guard was selected and stood by the coffin overnight of the chosen soldier overnight. On the morning of the 8th November, a specially designed coffin made of oak from the grounds of Hampton Court arrived and the Unknown Warrior was placed inside. On top was placed a crusaders sword and a shield on which was inscribed: "A British Warrior who fell in the GREAT WAR 1914-1918 for King and Country". On the 9th of November, the Unknown Warrior was taken by horse-drawn carriage through Guards of Honour...
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What do you see?

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
What do you see?  I took this photo while out for a quiet and reflective morning walk earlier this week. Briefly back in the north east to attend a funeral, I went for a walk that morning to ground myself first. I stood and looked at this tree and it's surroundings for quite some time. To me, there seemed many messages in what I noticed. Among them, when all else washes away, roots remain strong, and the sun continues to shine even on the most still and sad mornings.I felt peace here. I wonder what you see in this picture? I'd like to know ... Taken at Jesmond Dene 16th September 2024...
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I kept going. Ravenwolf

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
I’m not going to tell you that my life has been easy…It’s been hard as hell.There have been so many times that I survived one thing just to get hit with five more.But I never really thought about how hard it was or if I’d make it…It wasn’t ever a choice.I found a way.I made a way.I figured it out.I kept going.It’s hurt, physically, mentally and emotionally, but I always got through it.When the waves of life come at you, you make a choice to sink or swim…So I fought, scrapped and dug my way out of the darkness more than once.I was scared, tired and alone most of the time..But I kept going.I didn’t know where I was going or how I’d get there, but I knew I wasn’t happy where I was..So I pushed ahead.Sure, there were both dark days and happy times..And I made the best of both.I’ll never tell you that I have the answers because...
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