When love is a sham

by Lisa Harris1 Comment
Agatha Christie gives this line to Margot Bence, who was adopted at five and sent away at nine when her adoptive mother fell pregnant with her own child. The fury in it sounds like it should be about loss and a child who was loved and then abandoned. But when you read it again, the fury is pointed somewhere else. She's angry about the years she spent being certain she was wanted, and what that certainty cost her once it turned out to be wrong. And then at some point you realised your investment in the relationship was bigger than theirs. We all know some version of this. You trusted someone. A parent or friend, someone you'd have said was safe. And then at some point you realised your investment in the relationship was bigger than theirs. You were organising your emotional life around someone who was keeping you in a drawer. And the feeling that stays longest, much longer than the...
Read More

How to find a supervisor

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Finding out if needs, experience, and goals align. As supervisors we all work a little differently, as supervisees, we are all different. This means finding the best fit or right combination might feel like a never ending task - but it doesn't need to. Thinking and reflecting on ourselves and putting this with what we might already know we are looking for, can be an excellent place to start. Communicating this to a potential supervisor can be a great time saver and allow everyone to make effective use of time. Think about your own professional background What is your current Role?Are you a trainee, newly qualified, an experienced practitioner, a supervisor, manager or consultant? What are your credentials, qualifications, Professional Body and supervision arrangements: Are you a member of the BACP, UKCP, NCPS etc. What is your level of training, what particular qualifications do you hold or are you working towards? What are your own achievements and background? What are your current supervision arrangements and how might...
Read More

Facing death, time to drop everything.

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
When we or someone we love is told they have limited time to live we are often filled with all kinds of feelings and questions. There is anger, denial, maybe hope for a miracle cure. If there is a faith, a calling out to a higher being for help, support, understanding, healing or a smooth transition. Maybe there is acceptance or even relief.Perhaps more often, all of it at once in a kaleidoscope of emotions, thoughts, feelings and behaviours. None of which feel like the right response, usually. I dropped everything and faced death When or if we are told a timeline, we ought to take it seriously.So often our response is, “yes, but ….” followed by all the reasons the time line may not be correct. A miracle cure, a positive mental attitude, a new drug trial, the love of those around them. But that timeline, usually offered by an experienced medical professional or maybe someone who has lived this path...
Read More

Don’t pick a fight with a menopausal therapist

by Lisa Harris3 Comments
... you won't win. Anyone who knows me, knows I have been living with menopause for over 15 years. I know, I don't look old enough right? That's because I entered menopause in my mid 30's, medically there was no other option.And yeah, it more than sucks. So, whilst those around my own age are actively now talking about their peri-menopause, collagen, magnesium, exercise, hormonal shifts, dryness and general feeling of wtaf is happening to my body - I am nodding thinking, "Yah. I know" while my knees, hip and back hurts, I am STILL trying to shift some weight and I maintain the inability to so much as look at a polo neck without setting off a flush.Did I mention the bladder issues that creep up? Oh, you haven't got that far yet? Well, you will ...But 15 years ago, nobody was talking about this, social media wasn't full of it and celebs weren't breaking their necks to tell you...
Read More

What do you see?

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
What do you see?  I took this photo while out for a quiet and reflective morning walk earlier this week. Briefly back in the north east to attend a funeral, I went for a walk that morning to ground myself first. I stood and looked at this tree and it's surroundings for quite some time. To me, there seemed many messages in what I noticed. Among them, when all else washes away, roots remain strong, and the sun continues to shine even on the most still and sad mornings.I felt peace here. I wonder what you see in this picture? I'd like to know ... Taken at Jesmond Dene 16th September 2024...
Read More

Reflection and journals

by Lisa HarrisNo Comments
Today's addition to my journal :A piece by Mother TeresaAn albanian- Indian nun1910-1997 I often journal my thoughts, reflections or things I've read that have resonated with me. Today it is this.So, in short ... Forgive anywayBe kind anywaySucceed anywayBe honest and frank anywayBuild anywayBe happy anywayDo good anywayGive the world the best you've got anywayIt was never between you and them anyway. The photo is of my journal where I've written this out in full. (Complete with an error!) Reflecting is an important part of being a therapist and supervisor. Inspiration, ideas, thought process, drawings and doodles, wise words from another, realisations, fears, achievements and more can all be recorded or perhaps unpacked in journals. Free writing or free scribbles can unlock, reveal or remind us of so much. Reading back through our journals we can often follow our journey, see our progress, recognise themes or be simply reminded of things we'd forgotten.Sometimes this can help us prepare for supervision or support our own therapy. The...
Read More