Assertiveness Archives

STAIR Narrative Therapy: 8. The Resource of Connection — Managing Power with Respect Exploring how trauma can influence the way we experience power in relationships, and how respect for ourselves and others can help us navigate differences and difficulties. Have you ever found yourself feeling intimidated by someone in authority, even when you have no clear reason to expect them to treat you badly? Perhaps you find it difficult to disagree with a manager, feel anxious about asking for what you need, or worry that asserting yourself will lead to conflict. Alternatively, you might feel uncomfortable when you are the person responsible for making decisions or setting boundaries with someone else. Power is part of many everyday relationships. It exists between colleagues, friends, partners, parents and children, and between professionals and the people they support. For people who have experienced trauma, however, power can carry additional meaning. Experiences of abuse, exploitation or having little control over what happens to us can influence how we respond...

STAIR Narrative Therapy: 7. The Resource of Connection — Learning to Be Assertive Exploring how trauma can affect our ability to express ourselves, why assertiveness can feel difficult, and how we can learn to communicate our needs with greater confidence. Have you ever agreed to something when you really wanted to say no? Perhaps you have kept quiet about something that upset you because you were worried about causing an argument. Maybe you have apologised for expressing a reasonable need, or found yourself becoming increasingly frustrated because you feel that other people are not listening. For some people, expressing needs and preferences feels relatively straightforward. For others, particularly those who have experienced trauma, intimidation or relationships in which their boundaries were not respected, being assertive can feel uncomfortable or even unsafe. In this seventh article in my STAIR Narrative Therapy series, I explore assertiveness: what it means, why it can be difficult to develop, and how learning to communicate more clearly can support healthier relationships. What...